i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
