what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
