She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
