The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
