Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize