I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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