so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
