I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
