I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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