An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
