I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
