Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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