party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
