News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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