New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
