i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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