Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
