Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
