The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
