Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Your cock deserves a montage
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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