I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
