Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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