we're blogging at a bar
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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