i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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