So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Randomize
