question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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