i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
