What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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