His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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