I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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