just tell him i said nine months
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
