I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
