Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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