careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
