I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my poor anus
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
