i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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