I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
