I'm lost and stupid without you.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
