ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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