Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
