No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
