my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
