I wish I could punch you in the face.
i would punch a child for taco bell
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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