How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
