it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
