small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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