Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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