She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize