i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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