Kiss
Puke
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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