You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
