Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is Oprah even human
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
