Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's always time for handjobs
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
