Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
