I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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