Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
