I feel great
I just peed on a car
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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