Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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