bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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