why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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