every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
4 words: hood of his car
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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