Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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