You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
