i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
