Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
