Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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