ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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