one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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