I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
two words...techno handjob
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
