hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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