You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
