This is not my ceiling
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
