i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
