fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize